Let’s shift the goal to body neutrality
One of the biggest barriers to recovering from a disordered relationship with food is poor body image. We can do all of the tough work of rejecting diet culture, paying attention to our hunger and fullness cues, and developing new coping skills for navigating tough emotions, and yet, if body image isn’t addressed, these gains may not be long-lived. As long as a body feels like a thing that needs to be improved, diet culture will lurk in the shadows.
Of course, developing a positive body image is no small feat. That’s why I like to shift the goal from positive body image to body neutrality. Body neutrality means that rather than pushing yourself to love your body (which is hard, we often fail at it, and then beat ourselves up for not loving our body, thereby defeating the whole purpose), you move toward a place of respect, gratitude, and grace with your body so that you’re not devoting as much energy to strong emotions about your body either way.
Here are a few ways to practice body neutrality:
Thought disruption: when you notice yourself saying something unkind about a body part, challenge yourself to disrupt the thought by coming up with three things that body part does for you. For example, if you are hating on your arms one day, you might note that these arms let you hug your children, cook dinner for your family, and effectively do your job.
Practice self-worth separate from body image: write down qualities you like about yourself and your innate strengths that have nothing to do with your body. Things like a great sense of humor, dedication to your responsibilities, and punctuality all count!
Remember your values: negative body image thoughts are like kids on a school bus. If you listen to them, it will be hard to keep your focus on the road. You do not need to engage with the kids on the bus to complete your route, but the more you engage with them, the more distracting they can become and the more difficult it may be to complete your route. When negative body image thoughts pop up, what would it look like to not engage, but rather remind yourself of your values and where you want to go and just keep driving?
Use your body: in moments when you find yourself feeling down about your body, it can be helpful to use movement as a way to distract yourself. Can you go for a walk around the block? Stretch for 10 minutes? Take a dip in the pool? Surprisingly, using your body when you’re hating on it can be an effective way to re-ground yourself within your body.
Portia de Rossi perfectly embodies the concept of body neutrality at the end of her memoir Unbearable Lightness when she says, “I still don’t like my thighs. But I’m not going to do anything to compromise my health or sanity to change them.” How do you plan to practice body neutrality when negative thoughts about your thighs (*or insert “problem area” here*) pop up?